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West Ham plans to broadcast matches on Babestation


Following the appointment of former pornstar Eve Vorley to the West Ham United board of directors, the club have announced that their remaining games this season will be shown on Babestation during the lockdown.

The 55-year-old star of timeless porn classics like “Lesbian Nurses” and “Naked Neighbors” was named director yesterday by her 71-year-old billionaire lover, David Sullivan.

Vorley’s first act as director was to negotiate a new multi-million pound television deal granting the adult chat program “Babestation” the rights to broadcast West Ham’s games.

For those who have never scrolled through the TV channels while being edgy at 1 a.m., Babestation allows viewers to chat live with scantily clad female presenters as they squirm around the studio. Or so I am told.

While discussing the new deal with Paddy Power News, Vorley told us:

“Fans will enjoy our fully interactive game day experience on Babestation.”

“Instead of watching the games live, supporters can call one of our adorable girls via the premium rate phone number and they will relay the action as it unfolds.”

“It’s a bit like Final Score but sexier than Mark Lawrenson”.

When asked if West Ham players have any objection to appearing on adult TV, the “Horny Housewives” director said:

“Guys are quite used to getting a good spanking in front of millions of viewers.”

Meanwhile, the news received a mixed response from West Ham fan groups.

A Hammers United spokesperson told us:

“This will prevent us from switching between channels during commercial breaks when we watch the late night highlights.”

However, a spokesperson for WHUISA raged:

“It’s the most embarrassing thing that has happened to West Ham since Alan Pardew.”

“Our fans will not take him lying down.”

In other news, Paddy Power has received a flurry of betting on maintaining West Ham this season.

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