Editor’s note: “Blasted on a Budget” is a bi-weekly column providing tips and tricks on how to drink alcohol – responsibly – as a penniless college student.
Are you a baseball fan? If so, you probably know our hometown heroes, the Seattle Mariners, the cause of all the pain and suffering for Seattle baseball fans. Are you 21? Do you like alcohol and drink it for cheap? Are you tired of our questions? Really? Why? Take a look below at our tips for really enjoying a Mariners game – on a budget.
Urban Dictionary defines pre-gaming as “drinking before going out to party, primarily to prevent overspending on alcohol while away”. In this case, the party is a baseball game and the booze is still booze. At a Mariners game, “overspending” involves buying a $14 beer, so before the game. Treat yourself to a nice plastic bottle of Vitali and a case of Rolling Rock, or Bud Light if you feel like it. Crank out that country song you can stand to your feet to and get into the baseball vibe.
You will want to pee. So do it. But no matter how many times you go there before you leave, you’ll have to go back. Do yourself a favor and explore a nice walkway around T-Mobile Park when you enter.
Now that’s not an endorsement for bringing booze into the stadium, but let’s say you were to forget you had a few shooters (those little travel booze bottles) in your back pocket, security wouldn’t notice. . The target on the avenue had Jim Beam shooters that happened to be the perfect size for our pockets.
This is arguably the most important step. To access the game, you will need to ride a crowded light rail. If you’re feeling risky and want to lighten the tension, go see other fans wearing Mariners jerseys and talk to them as if they’re actually the player wearing their jersey. It’s a guaranteed way to crack everyone up, trust me.
“The Pen” is the name of this area at the center wall of the pitch where every student in the stadium stands. Yes, you have to stand. And, yes, you are going to be in a busy area surrounded by other drunk kids. But there’s a major reason to stick around – whoever is playing in center field can hear you. In the case of the Mariners, it was new stud Julio Rodriguez – those Jim Beam shooters had us proclaiming our love for him. A peace sign from her in response was enough to make our night.
For us it was $5-7 beers. Yes, for a baseball game, it’s solid value, especially considering they cost over $15 at other stadium locations. I still wasn’t the happiest dropping $7 on a spiked Arnold Palmer. Unfortunately for Astros center fielder Chas McCormick, he became the subject of our ire. Being the only Astros player who could hear us — a team widely hated by Seattle fans — he endured our torment. If you heard anyone shout an insult at McCormick, it was us – or someone inspired by us. McCormick was pissed.
At this point, it’s late in the game. Those Jim Beam shooters you “forgot” were in your pocket are starting to fade. You can finally head to your seats and relax a bit, maybe even watch some baseball. Grab $16 Chicken Tenders and enjoy everything you do — watch baseball, talk to friends, dismember the promotional bobblehead — all the normal things you like to do.
And that’s our guide to having fun at a Mariners game for relatively cheap. If you decide to give it a try, let us know how it goes. Stay tuned next week for more tips on how to blow yourself up on a budget.
Contact columnists Charlie Darnall and Grayson Irwin at [email protected] Twitter: @charlied1211 and @graysonirwin16
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