Lean into change. Jackie Goldschneider realized how his battle with anorexia affected his children – and made life difficult in the moment.
‘The eating disorder was controlling everything,’ the 45-year-old TV personality says exclusively We Weekly earlier this month. “It really changes everything in your life.”
the The Real Housewives of New Jersey The star explained that after years of starvation, she was able to enjoy spring break with her family. Goldschneider shares four children – 14-year-old twins Jonas and Adin and 11-year-old twins Alexis and Hudson – with her husband Evan Goldschneider. (Viewers also watched Jackie take her first bite of ice cream in 18 years on the April 5 episode of RHONJ.)
“I never took trips longer than four nights because… there was too much anxiety about going out for more than four nights in a row. Even with four nights, one of the nights I wouldn’t eat if we were going to dinner,” the former lawyer said. Werecalling a recent trip to Arizona that lasted six days.
She added: “I enjoyed every meal with my family. I wasn’t hungry at all. We did a lot more activities because I wasn’t just in starvation mode.
Jackie, who joined RHONJ in 2018, confessed that her battle with food and biased body perception “changes [the] how you interact with people” and how “present” she was with everyone.
“[What’s] very important is the fact that my children look at me [now] and they get into habits and they don’t get into these toxic eating habits anymore,” she said. “So for me as a mother, that’s it.”
The freelance writer opened up about her eating issues on the Bravo series, but it wasn’t until earlier this year that she revealed the depth of her issues.
While the reality star thought she had the problem under control in 2013 – 10 years after first becoming anorexic – she admitted during season 12 of the show that she lied to herself- himself and to others about the seriousness of the situation.
“It was a terrible secret. It was horrible for me to keep [it quiet] for so long. … I had tried for a very long time to start [a] retrieve [program] and I was never able to do it,” Jackie said We, referring to his choice to go public with his background this season. “I was so scared around it and never got to talk to anyone because, you know, it’s so shameful.”
She explained that by letting the cameras follow her to the Renfrew Center for treatment and therapy, “I wouldn’t allow people to see me fail and say, ‘It’s too hard to recover.’ I knew I wouldn’t let that happen.
The housewife added: ‘I realized it was an opportunity for me to really have people holding me accountable and following through, I knew that was the right thing. And I knew it could help people too.
Jackie is now ‘very far away’ and doing her recovery plan ‘very well’, she said Wenoting that it has not been without difficulties.
“Some parts have been really joyful, the parts where I learn to eat new foods and it has been a joy for me. What has not been a joy for me is my body,” said she said, “I work a lot not to define myself by my weight and not put too much emphasis on my height and external validation.”
Although she confessed to “wanting to weigh herself” and fit into her old size zero clothes, Jackie didn’t give in to the negative thoughts in her head. “There’s a lot of work to be done, but in terms of health, I’m in completely different territory,” she added. “I’m so much healthier and I just enjoy food and my family likes to watch me [grow].”
season 12 The Real Housewives of New Jersey The finale airs on Bravo on Tuesday, April 26 at 8 p.m. ET.
If you or someone you know has an eating disorder, visit the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Related Disorders (ANAD) website or call their hotline at (888)-375 -7767 for help.
With reporting by Christina Garibaldi